Okay, that ultimate happiness thing I was experiencing a couple days ago is over. It seems to have left my body a few hours ago, only to be replaced with sadness. It was still there this morning, because I didn't complain about having to work, but it's gone now. Instead of looking forward to seeing friends at work, I am now dreading my nine hour shift tomorrow. And instead of enjoying my mom's company, I am yet again irritated by every word that leaves her mouth.

I know someone who could make me feel about a million times better, be he is off helping Connie. I don't know who this Connie person is, and I'm sure she poses no threat to me, but I can't help but get that jealous twinge. My boyfriend is off being a superhero to her (his away message: "superhero tyme"), and I'm here, all alone, wallowing in my own misery. I had IM'd him earlier, practically begging for a phone call or IM or any kind of contact, but all I get is something about how he's gone to help Connie. That makes me sad. I miss him.

Cookie Baby, I hope you're not mad at me for that last paragraph. I'm not angry, I just miss you terribly.

My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive

Yep, that pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I wish he would call. I just want to hear his voice. We were just talking the other night about how we haven't really been able to spend any time together, aside from shooting pool at Riggsy's and going to the movies the other night (not to say I didn't enjoy those nights, it's just that we weren't alone and, well... you all know what I'm trying to say). That Sarah McLachlan quote above says it all... my body aches to breathe his breath.

I hate this feeling. This I'm-a-loser-who-has-no-frieds-and-all-I-do-is-get-online feeling. ::sigh:: I know that's not true, but on nights like this, that's what goes through my head. I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow morning, because if I didn't then I wouldn't be worried about how late I'm going to be up, which means I could go out in search of my Cookie. Well, I'd at least go to Doug's and eagerly await his return.

Stupid Diaryland servers, I hate when they're busy. I really need a Gold Membership. Once they finally have their new check processor set up I'm sending my check in (I'm too scared to put my credit card number on the www)... might even go for a damn Super Gold Membership. No more waiting for these silly servers. Grr.

"Clocks" is such a pretty song. I know I already talked about it in my last entry, but I think it's worthy of a second mention. As bummed out as I am right now, I'm having a hard time of controlling the sudden urge to jump up and start dancing to it.

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing

Well, Cookie just IM'd me, finally. I'm gonna go talk to him, and hopefully he'll cheer me up.