I haven't felt like updating for the past few days. Lots of stuff's been going on, but I just haven't been in the mood to talk about it. I feel so blah right now. I'm home alone and I feel lonely and scared. Thankfully Cookie's coming over when he gets off work and is staying with me tonight (as he did last night). I love that boy so much.

Today he took me to see Freddy vs. Jason. That was interesting. I'm definitely not a fan of the horror genre, but I figured I'd give it a shot. After the movie we went to get some lunch, and then he had to go to work, so for the majority of the afternoon I've been sitting around being bored.

I talked to Jacobbi online for a bit today. I miss him so much! He called me a couple times last week to chit chat, and I thought that was so sweet. I wish he didn't go to school so far away.

This is the funniest web site.

Yesterday I went to UNF to get my books (among other things) and find my classrooms. At first I was thinking that I'd never find my way around the campus, but I walked around for about two hours, so I think I'm going to be okay. The only thing I don't like is that on Fridays two of my classes are in different buildings. Why can't they just keep them in the same place? Stupid.

I keep asking myself why I'm not excited about school starting. It seems like everyone else I know is like, "Wow, college is starting! I'm so ready for this!" But I don't feel that I am. I'm sure I'm just nervous or in a funk or something, but I can honestly say I'm dreading this. I just wish I could fast forward through college so I could get on with living my life, minus all the stress of having class and homework. I want to find a good job, get married to Cookie and come home to him every night. I shouldn't be talking about that, though. I've got at least four years until that dream comes true.

Last night Cookie and I stayed up until about 4 a.m. sitting on my back porch talking. It was so perfect, him sitting there, smoking his Al Capones, wearing his fedora... I could listen to him talk for the rest of eternity. He's so beautiful to me (oh, and before you go off talking about how I'm "obsessed with him," Justin, let me just say... go fuck yourself). Everything about him is so sexy. I love how he smells, like Cloves or Al Capones. I don't like the fact that he smokes, but at least he doesn't smoke nasty cigarettes, and he doesn't do it often anyway.

I loved Chicago. I think I mentioned in my last entry that Megan and I watched it the other night, but I didn't really elaborate on it. I'd never had any desire to see the movie, but everyone's been making such a huge fuss over it I figured I'd give it a shot. It was so awesome! My favorite scene was the cell block tango. They did such an amazing job with that, and it was funny as heck. I downloaded it off KaZaA and I've watched it a gazillion times. Makes me want to be one of the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail, haha. I'm definitely going to be buying that movie in the near future.

I guess you could say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.

Well, I'm gonna try to get a little nap in before Cookie comes over. He gets off around 11:00 p.m. so I've still got a while before he gets here. Lord knows how late we'll be up tonight... g'night all.

I believe that I love you more than yesterday. But that belief grows with every single day.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet