I'm on my lunch break and thought I'd write a quickie.

I went in an hour and a half early today because it's Senior Citizen Day at Target and the pharmacy opened early. I get to go home early, though, so I didn't mind getting there at 8:30.

I feel so crappy today (don't I say that in every entry?). I am emotionally drained, I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle Cookie. We had a talk on Sunday about how much it hurts me when he goes for days at a time without calling me. It is not hard to pick up a god damn phone and call your girlfriend. He said he'd work on it.

Then he didn't call me at all yesterday. The day after we had our talk. I was up until about 2 a.m. sobbing. I hardly got any rest, not to mention that I'm still sickly. I honestly do not understand how he can tell me that he's going to call me when he wakes up, or before he leaves the house, and then do the complete opposite and not call the entire day.

Then this morning I thought about the poem from 10 Things I Hate About You, and how well it describes the way I'm feeling right now.

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

I'm going back to work now.