I've gotten into this really bad habit of not updating. I just never feel like it. I was thinking about this the other day, and I came to the conclusion that I never update anymore because I'm happy. If you take a look at my archives, you'll notice that just about every month last summer is full up with entries. If you've been reading my diary since then you will automatically know why. I wrote most of those entries for him, begging for his attention. But now I have his attention whenever I want it (without begging), and I just never get the urge to sit down and pour my heart out. There's no need anymore. And that's a good thing.

But anyway... let me see. I went up to UNF last week and officially changed my major to business. Dad is so proud. I am so incredibly freaked out. But it makes me feel a little better when I think about all the stupid people I know who are business majors, and if they can do it, I sure as hell can. Unfortunately, the next year of my college career will not be a fun one. Check out my schedule:

Fall 2004
Principles of Biology
Macroeconomics
College Algebra
Financial Accounting

Spring 2005
Current Applications of Biology
Microeconomics
Calculus for Business
Managerial Accounting

And that�s only if I can get myself into those classes when it comes time for the add/drop. Urgh, so frustrating. I�ll just have to keep thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel. A business degree will benefit me in the end, because at Target.com under Career Areas it says, �a degree in business or human resources is highly desirable and retail experience is a plus� for future store managers or human resource managers. And yes, I will be one of those two things one day. ;)

I have officially decided that one day I will become the first genuinely nice executive Target has ever seen. I was frustrated to the point of tears the other day when Erica and Amy, two of our executives, snubbed me. I walked into the training room so I could watch a video on a new pharmacy promotion we're starting, and they were both sitting in there. Instead of asking me to come in or seeing what I needed, they just sat there and glared at me. I said "sorry" and closed the door and went back to the pharmacy. All Target team members, especially the execs, are supposed to be the 3 F's: fast, fun, and friendly. They sure as hell aren't. I just don�t see how they got past their interview with attitudes like that. They must have totally faked out their interviewer. It makes me sick. I just try to ignore them.

I was thinking the other day� another reason I�m glad my summer classes are over is that my lit class almost ruined Harry Potter and The Hobbit for me. After taking a class in which those two books were on the reading list, I've decided that books one reads for pleasure are best left at that: for pleasure. I will never look at either of those books the same now that I've read them in a literary way. It was interesting, but the fact that I had to write a paper on each of them almost made me... sick of them. I mean, I love reading those books because they're fun and incredibly imaginative. But now every time I read a HP book I'll be looking for "codes of acceptance." And every time I read the Hobbit (or anything by Tolkien, even) I'll be looking for ways the characters "use recognition to gain power." Ugh. But, to rid myself of this, I�ve decided to re-read all of the HP books by the end of the summer (and if I don�t get too lazy, the LotR trilogy). Hopefully it will wear off.

This is going to sound quite strange, but I want a baby so bad. I've been having a lot of baby dreams lately because I've been visiting Taylor a lot. It never fails. Every time I see her I dream about babies that night. About a week ago I dreamed that Cookie and I had a baby girl and named her Wendy. I like that name a lot. I wasn�t too fond of it until I dreamt about it. Maybe it's a sign that I'm meant to name my first baby girl Wendy. Maybe not, but still an interesting thought.

Let�s talk about my Cookie now, shall we? He has impressed me so much in the past few weeks. He�s been working on his car and taking really good care of it, and he finally got his cell phone turned back on. He brought me roses one day for absolutely no reason, and last week he came over to my house with lots of pretty things from Zensation for my room. I know that to some that may not seem like that big of a deal. Some of you ladies out there might get roses for no reason on a regular basis. But the fact that he has made such drastic changes really makes me proud of him. He�s making a real effort to treat me right, and everything seems to be falling into place now. I just hope he knows how proud I am of him. :)

And speaking of Cookie, on Friday we are driving up to NC for his cousin�s wedding. I�m really excited because I�ve never been there before. I�ve heard it�s really beautiful. But anywho, in order to get Friday-Monday off work, I had to swap shifts with some people, and I�ve worked 40 hours for the past 2 weeks. I didn�t think it was going to be too bad at first, but because the pharmacy isn�t open as long as the actual store, I�ve had to work just about every day in order to get that many hours. Today�s my second day off in fourteen days. Oiy.

As some of you may have already heard, Brit is officially engaged. I�ve tried so hard to be happy for her, but I just can�t trust that Kevin fellow. I feel like she could do so much better. That�s a terrible thing for me to say, though, because it makes me think about certain people who have said I could do so much better. For me, the person I�m with makes me happy and I don�t care if he doesn�t have a degree, I don�t care where he works, I just care about him and the fact that he makes me smile. And maybe Kevin does that for Britney. She�s gone through so much and I just hope that she�s making the right decision.

Speaking of which, I�m so sick and tired of people comparing Britney�s marriage to Jason to her engagement to Kevin. By now everyone should know that the Vegas wedding was not for real, and if you still think it was then you�re a dumb fuck. I get so mad at people that it makes me want to scream. I wish everyone would just leave her the hell alone. Didn�t anyone see the Everytime video? Was her message not clear enough? Urgh. I know it sounds stupid, and I think Devon�s probably the only one out there who can truly understand the sympathy I feel for my favorite artist, but damnit I love Britney and I hate all those punk asses who try to discourage her from making people like me happy.

Well, I think I�ve covered just about every area of my life that is of some interest to you all. I don�t know when my next entry will be, but until then be good to each other! :)